Dont put SEX in the too hard basket
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Vasodilators, such as Viagra, Cialis , and Levitra , enhance blood flow to the penis. It also helps to understand that it's normal for erections to come and go during lovemaking -- "It can happen two to five times in a minute sexual session," McCarthy says. Men report two major problems -- anxiety about performance and climaxing too early, according to Laumann. Almost one in three men report premature ejaculation , while under one in five are worried about performance, according to Laumann.
And the anxiety doesn't stop there.
Many modern, loving, and conscientious husbands feel they have not truly "performed" unless their partners climax during sex, too. No wonder men feel the pressure - and performing under pressure can cause loss of libido. Job stress and self-esteem are also big factors. A variety of medical problems and chronic physical conditions can diminish a man's sex drive. Serious illnesses, such as cancer and depression , can certainly dampen any thoughts of sex.
Cardiovascular disease , hypertension , and diabetes can reduce blood flow to the body, including the genitals, wreaking havoc on libido as well. Chronic alcoholism and even occasional excessive alcohol consumption are notorious for inflaming desire but impeding performance. Conditions such as thyroid disorders and tumors of the pituitary gland which controls most hormone production, including sex hormones can also lower libido. The class of depression drugs called SSRIs can inhibit desire.
So can tranquilizers and blood pressure medications. Illicit substances, such as heroin , cocaine , and marijuana , when used heavily and chronically, may also cause loss of libido. On the positive side, when you talk to your doctor about these issues, there are alternative drugs for depression and other conditions that may have less of an impact on sexual desire. It is not only women who respond - with sexiness or inhibited sexuality - to how happy they are in their relationship. Problems with sex can - but do not always - signal other problems in the relationship that need to be addressed.
Anger and disappointment often carry over into the bedroom. The paradox of modern relationships is that greater intimacy may not make for better sex. When intimacy collapses into fusion, it is not lack of closeness but too much closeness that impedes desire.
For some men, the very love and respect they have for their partners - especially after the birth of a baby - can become an obstacle to sexual desire. It feels too regressive, too incestuous," says Perel. And of course, if they are pulling their weight in the care of a baby or young children, the resulting exhaustion can sap libido for men as surely as it does for women. Even where children are not involved, Perel reports that some men say things like, "I can't do that with my wife.
In the first instance, get some sleep. In the second, you never know until you try. The advice here is not so much about getting more, but getting better. Frequency is not the only measure of libido. Feelings count, too. If you look forward to sex, and feel good about it before, during, and after, that is the true measure of whether your libido is healthy. Here's how to help combat loss of libido. Juice is not flowing - so movement is important, figuratively as well as literally," say Perel.
Having a strong emotional connection with your man helps build respect, trust, and strength. Make him know that he can talk to you about anything.
Urban Dictionary: all of your eggs in one basket
Also, when you have a deep emotional connection with your guy, your conversations are amazing, and you look forward to spending time with one another. Sex is an important factor to keep your relationship going. As women, we want to spend all the time we can with our boyfriends to enjoy the newly found love we feel. In doing so you will have free time to spend with your friends and do other things.
Also, you need to experience new things with your friends. When you finally do hang out with your man, you will have something new to talk about. You also get balance in the relationship when you take time apart and give yourselves a chance to miss each other. Let him know that you also have other things to do.
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When a man misses you, he thinks of how much he loves you and all the good things he enjoys about you. This is exactly what needs to happen time and time again. Go out and meet other men. In fact, go on several dates before you settle for the man you love. As time goes on, you can narrow down to a few guys who seem like they could be the one.
What to do if your partner keeps turning down sex
One of them may be your future husband, so you need to continue narrowing them down till you settle with that one man. Make time only for the guy who you think has all the qualities you want. He will end up trying his best to win you over and eventually fall in love with you. Let it flow and allow your man to fall for you on his own without forcing him.
‘Something’s not working at the moment’
His Choice in Underwear "Tightie-whities 35 are the sign of a man who's proud of his equipment and how he uses it," says Irwin. And as for a guy who goes commando? His Hair It's no secret that guys are as neurotic about their hair as girls are about their bodies. He might also be a little short on sensitivity.
They're used to getting what they want — when they want it — and are much more likely to give others a hard time for not living up to their own standards," says Dr. As you might guess, if his hair is thinning out, 39 his ego is most likely whittling down too. But on the bright side, he's probably more empathetic.
His Sexual Style You can't judge a guy by one night in the sack they get first-night jitters too , but a couple of booty calls can offer plenty of personality clues. On the other hand, a man who lavishes you with affection and spends hours hunting for your hot spots 41 wants to connect with you on all levels "and is generally a good communicator out of the bedroom as well.
If your babe is the baby of his brood, 43 "he's likely to be creative and a little rebellious. How He Approaches PDAs When you're out in public and he's all over you like a rash, 45 "he's either trying to show you off or marking his territory, both of which are signs of insecurity," says Nakamoto. A guy who's allergic to body contact in public is 46 unsure about his feelings for you or your feelings for him.
Whether He Always Drives or Wants You To "A guy who doesn't automatically assume driving rights 47 is likely to let you steer the relationship at least some of the time," says Kelly.
A man who hogs the wheel — even in your car — 48 is sweetly old-fashioned at best and, at worst, could be a control freak. The Guy's Grooming MO A guy who checks out his reflection in every store window you pass is obviously vain. But, interestingly, 49 it's also a sign of a dude who's intent on succeeding.
His Speaking Style If your man moves his mouth a mile a minute, 54 you're with a spontaneous, high-energy guy who may be a little too self-absorbed. Slow talkers 55 typically play it safe. How loyal he'll be: Wait and see if you're shown the same allegiance as his buds are. If he's a man of his word: Will he really keep those promises he made to you early on? His little quirks: Time reveals the small details that really make a person tick.
If his parents' split haunts him: His broken home may have issued him some big-time emotional baggage.